A Curious Route

Tag: healing

  • Thirteen Realities We Discount Because We Can’t Always See Them

    Some human experiences we can dismiss as unimportant or non-existent, especially in comparison to visible or quantifiable evidence. Here are thirteen common ones I’ve noticed. Take these as a reminder not to ignore or discount their impact on your own or others’ wellbeing. Executive function and processing capacity. These abilities and our style naturally vary greatly…

  • When to Challenge and When to Affirm: The Epistemic Role of A Therapist

    I have recently delved into the idea of epistemology: The science of knowing and its various forms of (epistemic), injustice and justice.  It relates to what I find myself often writing about concerning the resulting harm or privilege: who’s knowledge is trusted, valued, understood and accepted as legitimate, or rather silenced and ignored – especially in…

  • A Conversation at the Nail Shop: Seeking Certainty

    One afternoon a couple of years ago, I overheard a conversation in a nail bar between a technician and a customer. At the table next to me they were discussing the latest Disney adaptation of The Little Mermaid, in which Ariel is played by the mixed-race actor Halle Bailey. They talked about the controversy surrounding her…

  • Plausible Deniability and Truisms: The Art of Swaying you with the Benefit of the Doubt

    In many situations, if you are on the receiving-end of disagreement or conflict, giving others the benefit of the doubt helps to preserve the relationship and let go of hurt feelings. Moving to a place where we can discount the possibility of the other persons bad intentions towards us, helps to preserve an agreement and…

  • Procedures in Cognitive Analytic Therapy: Tools to Tend Gardens

    In Cognitive Analytic Therapy, the next important key idea to Reciprocal Roles (RRs) is procedures. These are the patterns we currently use, that we have personally developed over time, to cope with the impact and influence of our relationships upon us – on our identities, emotions and how we relate ourselves and others. Our past…

  • Managing uncertainty: when not knowing is sometimes the sensible decision

    In my undergraduate degree research, the ‘p-value’ was a number that came from statistical analysis. It was a long time ago now, but from my basic understanding and memory, the p-value gave an indication of how probable it was that the results were related to chance, rather than to the relationship between the conditions being…

  • Triangulation: When Three Really is a Crowd

    In this piece, I’m using the well-known family systems concept of ‘triangulation’ to describe a particular process I’ve noticed in and outside therapy, to myself included: A relationship moment where the idea that “two’s company, but three’s a crowd” can actually ring true, especially in the context of navigating complicated group and relationship dynamics. When…

  • Are We Living in a More Hostile World, Or Are We Seeing More of It?

    I have been considering this daily while deliberately dipping a toe in and out of catastrophe-focused news headlines, and a semi-awareness of how my true-crime-skewed Netflix algorithm is both fed by, yet subtly nudging me towards a social weariness and vigilance. A common situational thread I have noticed recently in my therapy work is a collective sense of disillusionment…