Some human experiences we can dismiss as unimportant or non-existent, especially in comparison to visible or quantifiable evidence. Here are thirteen common ones I’ve noticed. Take these as a reminder not to ignore or discount their impact on your own or others’ wellbeing.
Executive function and processing capacity. These abilities and our style naturally vary greatly from person to person, in ways we are only now becoming more aware of.
Tiredness, under- or overstimulation, energy, and the impact of sources of input like sensory or cognitive load all affect these abilities, changing them at different times.
We now also understand in real terms the detrimental dopamine-seeking and crashing effect that social media mechanisms and algorithms generally have on our brains and attentional capacities. A reminder not to expect ourselves or others to maintain a fast thinking speed all the time. Time to think, especially about complex decisions, could be just as valuable and beneficial.
Threat or intimidation. These reactions that we often feel physically in response to a situation or person can sometimes be disavowed or even denied in the first instance. Instead, we can tell ourselves and others, ‘I’m not scared.’ Perhaps it’s sometimes more credible to seem brave or strong rather than to hear or own up to experiencing an often-valid physiological warning signal.
Emotional and cognitive labour and effort. Thinking and feeling aren’t arbitrary, valueless or effortless processes. There are whole jobs dedicated to them, freeing up the capacity of someone else in a more powerful position. In fact, many operational positions rely on it being possible to use the emotional and cognitive efforts of another person, often in an administrative role to support them – tasks like actioning decisions, scheduling, reassurance, comfort, organisation and the emotional impact of that. (Shoutout to anyone working in an any professional or domestic helping, administrative or support role). Emotional labour to maintain our social and societal fabric beyond the office is also traditionally unfairly allocated as a female or nurturer personality role, and is not recognised or remunerated fairly as work. Everyone who takes it on will tell you it is hard work on top of paid work. Let’s acknowledge it is.
Status and social or positional power. Much more visible within organisational contexts, but still prevalent and observed more widely in society than feels acceptable to say and name. While class stratifications may officially cease to exist, how much material wealth and beneficial familial, generational, social capital and professional connections you have, these all set your societal status and ability to influence others and your life in a direction that further advantages you. Less of these things have the opposite effect on power and status.
Privilege. Probably covered somewhat by some of the above. But we all have some, regardless of our intersectional experiences and identities. Maybe if not materially or resource-wise, then personally in terms of things like our abilities, social support, or even our health, regardless of our power and status. The positive influence of the privileges we can access or use inevitably changes, dependent on circumstances, who we are with and where we are in the world.
Structural and systemic inequalities. The valuable systems we have designed, at the very least, don’t serve everyone well at all times. They are made up of structures of individuals who have their own experiences and biases, rather than organisations being benign, faceless entities that function with a consistent agenda or set of values, even if they aim or claim to. Set in the context of capitalism in the West, itself is a system that requires competition and the maintenance of material inequalities to function. Just because we might not experience unfairness in a system does not mean it does not exist. The environmental crisis is a manifestation of this, broadly speaking, if we look at which countries’ infrastructures and climates have been systematically eroded in parallel.
The emotional temperature in a room. When the vibe is off, you can often just sense and see it if you look closely enough. Notice people’s body language and facial expressions. Perhaps this is what is meant by ‘reading the room’.
Felt and lived experience. Sometimes called phenomenological or experiential knowledge, we often discount it in favour of stats, figures and proof. Science as a discipline is relatively young in the context of human existence. Often what we know, or what is passed down and shared from experience, is just as valid, but it is undermined. Phenomenological and experiential knowledge is not given a fair chance to become science due to inequality surrounding what is considered worth or valid to fund regarding research. Case in point: women’s health globally.
Gut feelings and intuition. We often learn to ignore or override them in favour of polite, socially acceptable behaviour. They are physical, past-knowledge, or pattern-based signs we can read of what we may come to expect. While not always an accurate or reliable tool, seeing feelings as information about our pasts, hopes, fears, wants and needs, so being curious and attentive to them, could be an approach that values rather than dismisses our feelings, emotions and experiences as helpful signals.
The impact of cumulative interconnected experiences upon us. That seductive narrative that the most recent, salient or root experience is ‘the most important’ or logical explanation. Not helped by the request in healthcare to bring one issue at a time. We are all a sum of our various multiple life experiences. We all have a rich context; there’s no running away from that, however we may be sometimes forced to package our lives into neat stories.
Trauma from relationships. Often, unfairly (in my opinion),called ‘little t trauma’, the multiple incidents and longstanding nature of exposure to emotionally harmful relationships is what’s researched to be one leading cause of complex PTSD or complex trauma experiences. It is not smaller or less significant or impactful than experiencing a trauma more traditionally accepted as catastrophic. Let’s acknowledge this.
Stress and its impact. Stress is not just a mental or emotional thing that lives in our minds. It shows up in our bodies, health and sleep, and functioning. Then in our relationships and how we care for ourselves. Measurable biological indicators include chronically raised cortisol, leading to high inflammation and physical illness.
Physical and emotional pain and its impact. This seems self-explanatory enough. Nonetheless, physical pain often has traceable and measurable biological and behavioural features, such as through inflammatory markers in the blood. True for both emotional and physical pain, while it may surface differently between us, the felt or expressed degree is not always governed by the type of experience it’s caused by, so cannot be judged by others to be arbitrary.
© 2026 Lorraine Welch. All rights reserved
